some thoughts on work

bezalel has been an interesting experience thus far. i'm really glad that i came here and i feel fortunate to study art in a place that is truly unique. i have never done so much work. although it seems like i haven't as i've missed classes more often than attending (!) but the amount work i have done is quite a lot. thus far, i have shot 11 rolls of 120 film, giving me around 132 frames to choose from. (for comparison, when i take classes at smfa, i am only able to take 3 or 4 maybe 5.) but i'm not even done. i have 7 or 8 more rolls to develop with one or two more trips to hebron in attempts to finish my work. in a vain attempt, i also tried taking other art classes but failed at grasping the medium or maybe i didn't care enough. screenprinting is nice but i just didn't know what to print. i have an idea that i should finish before leaving but that is about it. collage was a major fail.

the teachers are a bit eccentric and old-fashioned. there are worlds upon worlds of differences between the teachers in smfa and the teachers here at bezalel. while it was refreshing to get a different perspective on my work, it wasn't all that pleasant to hear that my work is not "serious" or that it looks to "snapshot-y." i've also been thinking about why i'm doing art and it seems i can't answer that question legitimately anymore. i used to love photography and now i have almost fallen out of favor with it. i don't know how to hold myself artist, defending my work and talking about my work.

henri cartier-bresson's idea of the decisive moment was something i was striving for.

"The simultaneous recognition, in a fraction of a second, of the significance of an event as well as the precise organization of forms which gives that event its proper expression... . In photography, the smallest thing can be a great subject. The little human detail can become a leitmotif."

i tried by using toy cameras because it didn't take "work" to find the correct aperture and shutter. you just depress the shutter button. any cameras besides toy cameras or point-and-shoot cameras were too entrenched in what people seemed to think photography is and i wanted to get away from it. but somewhere along the way i forgot everything, especially the reason why i was photographing.

it was nice to have free reign over what i wanted to do with great support and TIME to do it. time is of the essence in art work. if there is not enough, the work will suck and it will show. i want to believe that i took advantage of my semester of doing nothing but art and hopefully it will show. i'm ready to go back to what i'm good at: reading and talking abstractly. i am afraid i forgot how to study but i'm sure it will come to me again soon.