israel: final thoughts and feelings

i have been in this constant state of reflection the past couple of weeks. my stay in israel has been a whirlwind of amazing experiences and the rare glimpses into this life that i didn't even know existed outside the bubble of my sheltered american life. i am so, so, so glad that i chose to come here to study and live and grow. i admit that israel is not the easiest place to adjust to and still some events are jarring. however, it's slowly becoming a part of my everyday vernacular and i find it quite wonderful. at first, i fell in love quite easily with israel: the sights, the history, THE FOOD!, the people. furthermore, this place gave me a break that i sorely needed. then after a while, what i loved about israel slowly began to smother me and hold me down. the political situation here is something that takes a lot of effort and time. moreover, most people in israel aren't even fazed by the conflict and sometimes consider it a nuisance or background noise (!). indifference runs rampant in these parts and it can be difficult and frustrating to breach this shield. i was also tired of being treated as a frier, a pushover, because i am a foreigner and the attention that came with looking discernibly different from the rest. the atmosphere in jerusalem was oppressive and stifling at times. it was hard to find something to do on shabbat because the whole city shut down and not many things were open. it was hard being in a country, that is surrounded by countries that do not believe in the existence of said country and want to annihilate it. i also became homesick after a while and wanted to desperately come back because i had thought i saw, learned, did whatever it was that i wanted to accomplish. after much reflection, this is not it. it is hard to explain how i have come to love this country that i have no connection to in any way. but it is in a way a flower in a desert. if you give it the right care and enough time and have great patience, it flowers into something quite breath-taking and amazing. that is israel. yes nostalgia can make me gloss over the bad things but the bad things are outweighed by the good i have come across in israel. the close knit group of people i call friends and perhaps even family. the people that i have met on my trips who have shown me great hospitality to a complete stranger. the determination of both israelis and palestinians to keep persevering despite all the opposition that exists. i might not ever make aliyah but i see myself returning again and again. it is true what itamar and matan had told me before i left. i have a home here. for good or bad, it is someplace i can begin to call my own.

israel museum & museum on the seam

last tuesday, i had no more obligations at bezalel so i decided to go and visit the israel museum. israel museum is situated in an interesting place. it is in givat ram, which is known as the political seat of israel/jerusalem. the knesset is situated there as well as hebrew university's science and math campus. israel museum is the national museum and even though it is an art museum, it didn't strike me as one but more of a historical/archaeological one, which isn't something bad. there wasn't much to see because of the renovations taking place. they seriously hampered the viewing experiences as there were two permanent collections available and several temporary ones. the permanent collections were the miniature replica of jerusalem from the 2nd temple period and the dead sea scrolls. i thought that the miniature was quite fascinating to see and compare to the walls of the old city as we know it today. many consider the dead sea scrolls to be the highlight of the visit but it wasn't too overwhelming or grand. perhaps at this point, i have become accustomed to the weighty history of the place. the scrolls were nicely curated and well preserved. it was interesting to see that the hall they were housed in were also art pieces to tell of the history between the sons of light and the sons of dark. the temporary exhibits were pretty mediocre and the sculpture garden was nice.

on friday, my last day, i visited museum on the seam with jonathan. museum on the seam has a fascinating history. it advertises itself as a socio-political museum that brings into light contemporary issues that ranges from environmental to tolerance of any kind. the museum itself was a lookout point for israeli army, situated on the 1948 armistice border with jordan. now, it sits on the edge of east jerusalem, known for its arabic population, and on the edge of west jerusalem which gives you, mea shearim, the ultra orthodox jewish neighborhood. the current exhibit, titled naturenation, "examines the complex relationship between land and state and between people and nature from a socio-political stance." it was a well put together show and i wish i had enough time to fully incorporate the exhibit. the photos in the show were outstanding, besides the edward burtynsky's work, which i'm not a fan of. i found it fascinating that the museum still kept the original modeling of the lookout in certain parts of the museum, making a powerful statement about war and art and people and space. the rooftop also featured a small sculpture garden with a tremendous 360 view of jerusalem.

overall, i think the museum on the seam had a better space and used it well. i know i can't make a judgement on what i saw at israel museum but i think that for one that enhances people's experience of israel and/or jerusalem, museum on the seam is more on the beat than israel museum. however, if history and archaeological and nice art collections are up your alley, the israel museum is a nice place to visit. don't know if it's worth the money, though.

סוף סוף!!

ahh! i am finally finally done with classes for the semester. i think i had pretty successful reviews on the work that i've been doing for the past couple of months. i found out that it is really easy to get caught up on certain ideas of what a place should look like and feel like in the place and there is too much subjective tastes to be found. i was told that i was successful in capturing a contested place as a respectful viewer of the life and culture there! that's so nice to hear! i was also made aware that some of my photos have failed to transcend this notion of touristy image. i think it's rather hard to do so in a place that is completely new and foreign. i'm sure that an jewish israeli or an arab israeli would have done my project completely differently but i'd like to think that i can see things in a new way that puts things in a different light. i also developed my first!! cross-processed film! it looks pretty damn amazing. now i know why lisa does it all the time. i'm ready to relax for the next couple of days before i return to the states.

some thoughts on work

bezalel has been an interesting experience thus far. i'm really glad that i came here and i feel fortunate to study art in a place that is truly unique. i have never done so much work. although it seems like i haven't as i've missed classes more often than attending (!) but the amount work i have done is quite a lot. thus far, i have shot 11 rolls of 120 film, giving me around 132 frames to choose from. (for comparison, when i take classes at smfa, i am only able to take 3 or 4 maybe 5.) but i'm not even done. i have 7 or 8 more rolls to develop with one or two more trips to hebron in attempts to finish my work. in a vain attempt, i also tried taking other art classes but failed at grasping the medium or maybe i didn't care enough. screenprinting is nice but i just didn't know what to print. i have an idea that i should finish before leaving but that is about it. collage was a major fail.

the teachers are a bit eccentric and old-fashioned. there are worlds upon worlds of differences between the teachers in smfa and the teachers here at bezalel. while it was refreshing to get a different perspective on my work, it wasn't all that pleasant to hear that my work is not "serious" or that it looks to "snapshot-y." i've also been thinking about why i'm doing art and it seems i can't answer that question legitimately anymore. i used to love photography and now i have almost fallen out of favor with it. i don't know how to hold myself artist, defending my work and talking about my work.

henri cartier-bresson's idea of the decisive moment was something i was striving for.

"The simultaneous recognition, in a fraction of a second, of the significance of an event as well as the precise organization of forms which gives that event its proper expression... . In photography, the smallest thing can be a great subject. The little human detail can become a leitmotif."

i tried by using toy cameras because it didn't take "work" to find the correct aperture and shutter. you just depress the shutter button. any cameras besides toy cameras or point-and-shoot cameras were too entrenched in what people seemed to think photography is and i wanted to get away from it. but somewhere along the way i forgot everything, especially the reason why i was photographing.

it was nice to have free reign over what i wanted to do with great support and TIME to do it. time is of the essence in art work. if there is not enough, the work will suck and it will show. i want to believe that i took advantage of my semester of doing nothing but art and hopefully it will show. i'm ready to go back to what i'm good at: reading and talking abstractly. i am afraid i forgot how to study but i'm sure it will come to me again soon.